Which Twilight Boy is Gay?

Yeah...
They're ice...and fire
Werewolf...vampire
But sorry to dismay
One Twilight boy is gay

Now Mike Newton is
A freak, we know this
Eric Yorkie too
And Jasper and his hairdo

Tell me who: Ain't saying that it's Charlie
Tell me who: ain't saying that it's Billy
Tell me who: I will never admit
Who'd coming outta the closet

Emmett we're debating
Is he overcompensating?
And I don't mean to offend
Jake really is "man's best friend"

Tell me who? Ain't saying it's Sam Uley
Tell me who? Maybe it is Quil or Embry?
Tell me who? Who are we gonna frown upon?
Who's gay as Zac Efron?

What kind of straight guy has glittering skin
That dazzles in the sun?
(Yeah)
And I think we all know that those LaPush boys
Have hot homo doggy fun.

Werewolf..or vampire?
Ask Stephenie Meyer
Won't say
Won't say
Won't say
Okay!

It's Jacob Black!

He's so misunderstood!
He's number one on Team Edward!
Bella was just a smokescreen
Jacob Black is the Forks Queen

Jake gets distracted by his own reflection
He's attracted to his own perfection
What more can we really say?
Jacob swings that way.

Why is Lolly so mean to poor Jake?
One day she is gonna get staked
Seriously, he's gonna have revenge
As soon as he's done with gay sexy time.

Coz he...imprinted...on...a guy...

The Cullen Crust

I know you want,
To get sexy.
I've tried to explain,
Why you can't sleep with me.
But you're so stubborn,
In your human youth.
So I've decided it's time that I
Tell you the truth

(And it goes on and on and on and on...)

I've got the Cullen Crust.
That's why I can not yet thrust.
Don't wanna infect you.
Emmett's got it too.
Alice was just spared
Coz she made Jasper wear...a condom...

I thought I was cured
Of Fangorrhea.
I put my ointments on Edward Jr. every day to fix
Draclamydia.
But it didn't help
That one last VD.
And now I'm sorry my Bella that's what I can't
Let you sleep with me.

(And it goes on and on and on and on...)

I've got the Cullen Crust.
That's why I can not yet thrust.
Worst is poor Rosalie,
And her Genital Vampes.
So stop your bitching
Coz my crotch is itching...immortally.

I've got the Cullen Crust
That's why I can not yet thrust.
So that's my life story
Sorry you're horny
Now I am suffering
For that one night fling...with Aro.