It's Twilight Again - Miley Styley

The Ode to the Anti-Twilighter.

NOTE: This in no way reflects Lolly's personal opinion of Twilight. The fandom, maybe, but Twilight is the shiz. All three books of it.

...Do you dare challenge what I just said?
No?
Didn't think so.

Presenting...

IT'S TWILIGHT AGAIN

I read this book back in...two thousand and five.
Haven't read such a load of garbage... in all my life.
I repressed all the stupid plot points, put it out of my mind...
But suddenly now...it's Twilight again.

It started one day when I...was in Chemistry.
In front of me, my friends Em and Adele...were giggling.
Curiously, I eavesdropped to...see what was so funny.
To my horror it...was Twilight again.

I'm surfing on the net, just trying to forget,
When Edward Cullen's face pops up into my business.
I smash the stupid screen; I'm not some stupid tween!
My best friend Rhianne, she just loves his stupid sparklepeen.

I'm walking down the road, and pass a window,
RPattz is on the pane...
Oh whoa oh oh oh,
I...cannot believe...it's Twilight again.

I flop down on the couch and, turn on MTV
But switch it off in detestation when I see damn Larry!
He's interviewing Kristen Stewart; this crap's stalking me...
Another day wrecked... by Twilight again...

I'm lurking on YouTube - this just cannot be true!
Some pink-haired geek is ranting about Bert and TomStu.
I click another link, and I kick up a stink!
Some bitch is singing about how Edward is a virgin.

It's ruining my life...I just can't block it out,
I want. To Stab. My Brain.
Oh whoa oh oh oh
I...refuse to believe...it's Twilight agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!

Haven't read such a load of garbage...in all my life...

And when the movie came, the squeals drove me insane,
I try to kick as many Twihards without getting blamed.
Why is it they can't see, that Twilight's so cheesy?
They never had no glitter-skin on that show Buffy.

At least it's finally done. The movie's over now,
Relief causes me to swoon.
Oh whoa oh oh oh
Wait. Oh no, please, it cannot be true!
Oh whoa oh oh oh,
Oh...oh my God, they're...making New Moon.